This really resonated for me. I too have a dad who has been cared for by women his entire life and allowed to be the center of attention of every room he enters. Growing up as the child of someone like this has affected me tremendously. It is beyond tragic there are so many women like us. I'm sorry you are one. But I appreciate you for writing about it with such honesty and wit.
this reminds me of an instagram therapy post I saw that was like "do you like to nurture or is it just TRAUMA" and honestly that traumatized me on its own. good luck and sending you and your sister lots of love!!
NO IDEA what I would do without Shelley, and you're right about this couch!! I stare at it admiringly every day, i'm gonna ask its owner where she got it when she comes home, believe me
Thank you for sharing about what being there for your dad is bringing up for you. My own dad is 78 and just got a pretty serious diagnosis and I’m mindful it’s not going transform our relationship, not going to miraculously attune us to one another. Just as you point out about your own dad, I’m sure it’s only going to amplify his dadly ways. He drives me nuts, but I’ve had to admit to myself he’d be right to refuse my care; I haven’t been easy either. I admire that you’ve carved out this space both to grieve your own losses and to ask these bigger questions. Thank you—it helps. ❤️
Oof. I believe that caring can be one of the most beautiful things we can do for one another as humans, but as usual, patriarchy, capitalism, white supremacy etc have really fucked it up for us. Sending you strength and admiration for all the things you make despite all the things that get in the way ❤️
Care tasks trick us into thinking we’re not procrastinating on our own creative projects, we’re doing vital and compassionate work! And it’s the worst kind of trick because it’s also true.
Wonderful thoughtful post. Also here to say I have a tuxedo cat named Stacey, with a similar judgmental glare, although I can’t take credit for the name, she came with it as a foster. But it does suit her, and I am now Stacey’s mom, and it is indeed incredible.
This really resonated for me. I too have a dad who has been cared for by women his entire life and allowed to be the center of attention of every room he enters. Growing up as the child of someone like this has affected me tremendously. It is beyond tragic there are so many women like us. I'm sorry you are one. But I appreciate you for writing about it with such honesty and wit.
It's always such a relief to hear from other people who know exactly what it's like❤
this reminds me of an instagram therapy post I saw that was like "do you like to nurture or is it just TRAUMA" and honestly that traumatized me on its own. good luck and sending you and your sister lots of love!!
HOLY SHIT i have never heard that before, OH MAN!!!
It's troubling!! 💓💓💓 Sending big love!
I’m sorry you are going through this with your dad. I’m glad you have a sister to process and share the responsibilities with.
Also - on a completely unrelated note - Stacy is gorgeous and what about that couch? I need to know more about it.
NO IDEA what I would do without Shelley, and you're right about this couch!! I stare at it admiringly every day, i'm gonna ask its owner where she got it when she comes home, believe me
Thank you for sharing about what being there for your dad is bringing up for you. My own dad is 78 and just got a pretty serious diagnosis and I’m mindful it’s not going transform our relationship, not going to miraculously attune us to one another. Just as you point out about your own dad, I’m sure it’s only going to amplify his dadly ways. He drives me nuts, but I’ve had to admit to myself he’d be right to refuse my care; I haven’t been easy either. I admire that you’ve carved out this space both to grieve your own losses and to ask these bigger questions. Thank you—it helps. ❤️
ohhhh yes is is "dadly ways" amplified by 10000000, i hope your time with yours goes more smoothly than mine's going💗💗
Oof. I believe that caring can be one of the most beautiful things we can do for one another as humans, but as usual, patriarchy, capitalism, white supremacy etc have really fucked it up for us. Sending you strength and admiration for all the things you make despite all the things that get in the way ❤️
Thank you!!💖💖
Take care, my lovely.
thank you bb!!💕💕
Care tasks trick us into thinking we’re not procrastinating on our own creative projects, we’re doing vital and compassionate work! And it’s the worst kind of trick because it’s also true.
how dare this be true!!! and it is❤
Ooof. This really resonates with me. I hope you luck into some bright, quiet, peaceful hours for writing this week.
It's almost midnight where I am, and I carved out three hours tonight!! ✨
I'm delighted to hear! I hope you get everything you need before your deadline!!!
WOW.
❤️🔥❤️🔥
Thanks so much for sharing all of this and wishing you respite and creative time!
Thank you bb!! Got to work on some stuff today for a bit so feeling better!
Sending all the healing vibes to your dad, and support to you and your sister. Have a refreshing break!
Thank you!! I'm gonna make some big gay plans to try and feel better about all of this ✨
Sending you good vibes and healing thoughts, I'm sorry you're going through all this. It sounds like a lot. Take care of yourself.
Thanks Renita!! 💌 🌈
You are a gift in this world. On so many levels. And not just because of what you have to “offer”.
Wonderful thoughtful post. Also here to say I have a tuxedo cat named Stacey, with a similar judgmental glare, although I can’t take credit for the name, she came with it as a foster. But it does suit her, and I am now Stacey’s mom, and it is indeed incredible.